Caitlyn Jenner
admitted on her documentary series I Am Cait on Sunday that the only
thing holding her back from dating men has been the fear of freaking out
her children.
The latest episode of the E! series showed how Cait already fears losing touch with youngest daughter Kylie who stood her up on a crucial red carpet event as she collected Glamour magazine's Woman of the Year award.
They clashed later with Caitlyn clearly stunned by the 18-year-old reality star's excuses of a wardrobe malfunction.
Solo stroll: Caitlyn Jenner was stood up by 'date' Kylie Jenner at a red carpet event on Sunday's episode of I Am Cait
Kylie while offering her excuse told her dad: 'My vagina was out - not my boob, not my butt crack - my vagina.'
Caitlyn
then admitted that she was terrified that telling her family she now
wants to date men would only alienate them even further - and held her
back from opening up to Kylie.
'I thought about bringing it up to Kylie, ''Maybe I should start dating,' she admitted to new best friend Candis Cayne.
Wardrobe malfunction: Kylie was later confronted by Cait after missing the red carpet
'But I thought, 'I can't.' I just can't even bring the subject up.'
The
transgender star admitted she 'can't see myself dating women in my
future,' adding: 'Yeah I would date a man - and it's kind of nice to get
that off your chest.'
And when Candis asked if that would make it harder for her family, Caitlyn admitted:
Closed subject: The reality star said she couldn't discuss dating men with her family
Best friend: Candis Cayne talked to Cait about dating
'I think it might be a little tougher on the girls if it was a guy.
'I think if I was dating some guy the would go, 'Wow,' she said, expressing real shock. 'Yeah.'
Later, she admitted: 'I am not looking forward to having conversations about dating with my kids.
Confusing topic: Cait said dating men would be confusing to her children
'I think if I were to date a man it would be confusing for them. And I don't want to confuse them.'
It
also made her refuse to dance with a man during a salsa class,
insisting: 'That picture is going to go all over the world, and I don't
want my kids to see that.'
Caitlyn
already had admitted to being terrified at walking the red carpet in
New York for her Woman of the Year award, and could not hide her
disappointment when her 'date' Kylie was a no show.
Major award: The I Am Cait star was apprehensive about walking the red carpet solo
When
Kylie finally appeared in her hotel room later that night, Caitlyn
could not hide her disappointment as she said: 'Honestly I wanted you
right by my side.'
But
her disappointment turned to confusion and disbelief as Kylie started a
bizarre explanation of why she was not able to make it.
'My dress was completely see-through and option b ripped all the way down my ass,' she said.
Bizarre explanation: Kylie gave her father a bizarre explanation for missing the carpet
'I wouldn't want to be on a red carpet with my vagina out. My vagina was out - not my boob, not my butt crack - my vagina.
'And option b my whole zipper ripped down. And I had a tailor there trying to fix it!'
Caitlyn
made it clear they 'could have worked around all that' and joked with
her: 'The next time - I'm dragging your ass there.'
Zipper ripped: The teenage reality star said her zipper broke on her second option
'Kinda
disappointed in Kylie,' Caitlyn admitted later to the camera. 'Of
course I wanted her to go with me for the red carpet, but I need to feel
comfortable just doing them on my own.'
But
she admitted the award was 'a wonderful, wonderful feeling' as her
'biggest fear is that you'll be thought of as an absolute freak and
weirdo' and instead she felt 'so welcomed by not only the trans
community but Glamour magazine womanhood in general.'
The
episode centered around Caitlyn's fears of dating, with her having an
extremely awkward conversation with a guy named Joe in a bar in Chicago
while all her friends were there looking for dates, with Cait admitting:
'I'm uncomfortable. It's in the middle of such a public place.'
Getting ready: Caitlyn was shown getting ready for the big event
'Honestly,
Caitlyn hasn't really embraced those sides of her feminine self yet,'
Candis said, adding that she 'doesn't really know how to talk to guys at
all.'
But Caitlyn was also put off seeing her friends trying to date - with Candis stood up during the episode.
Caitlyn
insisted; 'I've never been in my life a big dater, like I was going out
all the time. So for me in the future dating as a trans woman don't see
myself obsessed with something like that.
Road trip: Candis and Cayne were on a road trip to raise awareness about transgender issues
'I see the girls rejected a lot when it comes to dating, and I don't want that in my life.
'So yeah - the rejection thing kind of scares me,' she admitted.
Caitlyn
also broke down in tears when she confronted the reality of having lost
forever her former life as Olympic legend Bruce Jenner.
Taking
delivery of her new driver's license formally cementing her new
identity, Caitlyn choked up as she said: 'It's almost like throwing old
Bruce out the door.'
New license: Caitlyn shared her remorse over letting go of Olympic champion Bruce Jenner
Her
eyes then reddened and welled-up even more as she told her friends:
'Y'know, he was a very good person. He did a lot of good things in his
life.
'And sometimes I feel like he didn't deserve to be gone. And I have probably held that in for a long time,' she said.
After
a pause for strength, Caitlyn continued: 'But at some point in your
life after all of the other things are gone you've got to say, ''Ah s***
I've got to move forward.'
Stood up: Candis was stood up on a date
The writer: Buzz Bissinger who is writing a memoir with Caitlyn about her transition was shown taking notes
'And - it's not that I ever wanted to throw him away…'
She
added: 'You look at this and not only is it a Jenner name change,
picture change, it's a totally different person. And certainly it's not
that that old person was a bad person. It just wasn't me. So when you
see this - pretty significant.'
'So I'd like to take in the future all the great qualities that he had and put them into her and move forward,' she said.
Dance partner: Caitlin opted to dance with Candis instead of men during a salsa lesson
